midterms, shmidterms.

i have finally mastered this archive function!
victory!

i'm very dazzled and impressed by dumb word games. so should you! be dizzled fo shizzled and try it yourself:

pronounce these to the best of your abilities:
l-w-o?
b-w-o?

t-w-o?

congrats! twoah is so incorrect
hardy har har!

i'm so tired. my arms are very sore from 20 foot volleyball.

goodnight friends

wow! this is very cool. i was watching seinfeld when suddenly george appeared wearing..



my shirt (or i'm wearing his shirt)! he totally has style. and yes, that's world cup soccer super star brandi chastain on my left. she needs to sport that plaid shirt too. this made my day.

just added:
that and the blazers overtime win against the kings made my day. they're now three and a gazillion on the road!

finance leverage ratios, current and noncurrent assets, and stockholders' equities are no fun (especially when the balance sheet doesn't balance). i understand why enron started making up numbers, it's because accounting can give people headaches. and people dont' like headaches, they want to go out and play.

i want to play madden.

thank you martin luther king jr.

oh please laugh with me. just keep clicking next

A credit card prank

if i sneeze and hiccup one more time, my head and chest will blow up.
if anyone creates a cure to hiccups, like a pill to swallow and not a holding-your-breathe-and-drinking-water-method, i will pay you a hundred dollars and give you a hug. hiccups are horrible! if we have medical research centers working on cancer and AIDS, i'm sure they can fine a vaccine to hiccups. it'll be like being able to shoot a million three-pointers in a row, and then asked to make one layup. am i right? if they have a run-for-hiccups marathon, i'm so participating and funding that.

you could so win the nobel prize of medicine if you help me.

keep the noise low. she doesn't want to blow it.
shaking head to toe while your left hand does the "show me around".
quickens your heartbeat.
it beats me straight into the ground.
you don't recover from a night like this.
a victim still lying in bed completely motionless.
a hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
hear a boy bracing tight against the sheets barely whisper,
"this is so messed up."
upon arrival the guests had all stared.
dripping wet and clearly depressed he'd headed straight for the stairs.

no longer cool but a boy in a stitch.
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
he keeps his hands low. he doesn't want to blow it.
he's wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down.
his stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
but the body on the bed beckons foward and he starts growing up.

the fever. the focus.
the reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
die young and save yourself.
the tickle. the taste of... it used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
die young and save yourself.

she hits the lights. this doesn't seem quite fair.
despite everything he learned from his friends he doesn't feel so prepared.
she is breathing quiet and smooth. he is gasping for air.
"this is the first and last time" he says.
she fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
he keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
he's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
he is a lamb. she is the slaughter.
she's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
he whispers that he loves her but she's probably only looking for...
so much more than he could ever give, a life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
he keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
he waits for it to end and the aching in his guts to subside.

up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.

bn - sic transit gloria (glory fades)

after fifteen years and millions of dollars of research, attraction.match.com printed me a ten page report saying that this girl is who i find the most attractive. if you see her, please tell her to take the test and see if my picture shows up.

joshchang.com is in the middle of being redone.
people are complaining that he wears the same thing everyday and want to see change.

hopefully this week i will give its fans a runway model look for the new year.
i apologize!

Although I'm such a wuss when it comes to psychotic homeless people (they're like angry pirates), I think I can beat any of them one-on-one at ball. Just drop your knife and booze next to the bench.