PETA Should Be All Over This

How To Clean A Cat

May 26th, 2004 (No.1726)
From AskMen.com

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, with both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape. Caution: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Get someone to open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Avril Lavigne

Thanks to MTV: The Leak I'm listening to the new Avril Lavigne CD. I must say that I like it a lot because it sounds like the Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack!

It's actually pretty good. Good like it's a lot darker and smarter than "Let Go" (though she disagrees) and giggly junior high girls and boys may not like it.

She's not that big of an Avhole. Be a fan! I may sport a tie to class tomorrow just to promote her new albumn.

Venting

Hey! It's not over yet! We can all be optomistic and look at the oranger side of the ball. The Twolves or Kings can still oust them. If that doesn't work, the Pistons, Heat, Nets, or Pacers can knock them out. Come on! Don't lose hope! And if that fails, well, Kobe still has a chance to go to prison, Phil maybe leaving, Payton and Malone are going to retire, and Shaq could get poisoned from a nestle crunch bar. There are plenty of things to anticipate for.





But to be honest, I will sink to a new low if I start cheering on an eastern conference team. It's time to start following hockey. Lightning and Sharks in finals. Sharks in five.

That was the worst 0.4 seconds ever.

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky
O love of God, how righ and pure!

I just realized that I don't know any Asians that are big fans of hockey. I wonder if a lot of Asian Canadians dig it. Personally, it's a sport that's too hard to follow because the names are too complicated. Maybe I need to learn some Russian or any of those Scandinavian languages. I know that would help.

On a side note, my new baby came in. Pink isn't her color, so new green wheels are coming in for her. She says that Randal II's would be a nice enhancement too (she's very high maintenance). I also covered her with grip tape so no one complains about public nudity.

From Citizens Against Government Waste (you can find this article on CNN.com too) :

In one of the nation's biggest scandals of its kind, 11 Georgia educators were caught holding advanced degrees from "Saint Regis University." Saint Regis is a diploma mill based in Liberia - an institution that sells college degrees for little or no coursework.

A middle-school math teacher in upper-middle class Gwinnett County received a $16,000 pay raise when she submitted papers showing she had earned a doctorate from Saint Regis.

When my little brother Noah heard this news, he was kind excited about this. So he's in the middle of getting his Master in Liberal Arts from Saint Regis . Keep in mind that this master is only in tenth grade. He'll be owning half of his high school teachers. "HA CHA!"